I must admit that I was slightly taken aback as the radio just announced a level 3 heat-health warning and that it was just below level 4 (obviously) which would send us hurtling into national emergency territory.
Apparently troop mobilisation is only a couple of days away – so long as they aren’t pole-axed by sun-stroke. (We all know the MoD won’t have stocked up with sufficiently strong enough factor sun cream.)
Maybe Butler Sheetmetal HQ will be sequestered by the military to provide shelter from the deadly temperatures currently afflicting the nation due to the fact that the building not only looks like a Siberian coal bunker but definitely has a similar chill factor to one. (If only I’d thought on this morning and worn a long-sleeved shirt – me nipples are like bullets.)
It might be all well and good expecting the young, the old and the infirm to suddenly keel over at the onset of a three day ‘heatwave’. But, spare a thought for the vast majority of folk who are greeted or subject to that most British of phenomenons – pasty white legs and shit shorts. If you’re terribly unlucky you may find a splash of colour in the form of a varicose vein mapping its way down one or both legs impersonating an Amazonian tributary.
So if it wasn’t enough performing a great feat of derring-do to beat the early morning sunshine, then the sight of John as great British phenomenon was enough to make my brew curdle.
Roll on winter!
Comments
YoYO
on 4/7/2006, 8:03 pm
Spare a thought for us subteranean commuters in The Smoke……Ken thinks he might have to close down bits if it gets hotter…. and a deodorant manufacturer is running a timely poster campaign…phew!
Paul Woodhouse
on 5/7/2006, 12:16 pm
OK, I’ve spared just the one.
V[[a=s/”p Ers*t\H-gRate/!!#~~
on 7/7/2006, 1:06 am
Here’s a simple way to PROVE that everyone is INSANE:
(1) in the summer they crave to be freezing cold, usually via sissy air conditioning
(2) in the winter they want to be burning hot, turning the furnaces up.
Paul Woodhouse
on 7/7/2006, 2:05 pm
And to prove that us Brits are truly hatstand – we moan about it in the process. Still, I’ve noted you Americans aren’t beyond moaning about it being too hot, too cold or too wet either.
Still, at least you have something extreme to whinge about.
steph
on 9/7/2006, 5:40 am
Paul, I didn’t give you permission to use a photo of my legs…especially when they haven’t been shaved.