There’s still a few things to iron out or tweak a bit more, but it’s mostly functional – or as far as I can tell.

So, if you care to pass comment on anything you’ve come across that you don’t like or don’t quite understand, please let me know in the comments.

Both the main Butler Sheetmetal site and the blog have been revamped, with both a more minimal and integrated feel.

We’ve also added a client case studies section and a job book section which contains all the photo galleries.

If you have a couple of spare minutes, do have a little mosey and let me know your thoughts if you care to share them.

I’d be terribly grateful.

Something else I expected even less was Jasper ‘looking well’. I swear he looked three years younger than the last time I clapped eyes on him; and that was probably three years ago. Especially seeming he’d caned a litre and a half of Asda’s premier cooking sherry the night previously. Maybe he’s pickling himself younger by means of a Benjamin Button-esque reverse aging process. Not that there’s much chance of him turning into Brad Pitt.

I fear he’ll probably get stuck looking like a whispy, deep-fried turnip.

While it’s nigh on impossible to seamlessly move from Scotland and turnips to footie you can’t fault the Butler boys having nabbed a few season tickets to watch Burnley (not that getting on the Turf is my festive highlight or anything). Nor can you fault the game against Arsenal. So bring on Bolton. Oh, and don’t be pestering Matt for a borrow of one unless you’ve got a sizeable order up your sleeve.

So, without further ado (as I’ve got to now go and drop all the presents off at John’s) may you have a very Merry Christmas.

I’ve been told the Butler Sheetmetal guys were responsible for the flooring, the glass posts and the signage.

Floor leading to platform lift.

Exhibition stand interior with shiny logo.

Back of the stand.

Full frontal of Axess exhibition stand.

Somebody enjoying a ride in a lift.

So, to avoid any confusion, if you’re looking for a custom lift get in touch with Axess in Clitheroe; and if you’re looking for an exhibition stand, have a word with us down the other end of the A59.

I know how easily confused some of you people can get.

Burnley is so northern that if you were to get stabby with it using a kitchen knife it’d bleed that most northern of mythical creatures resembling the body of a whippet, the wings of a pigeon and a mane functioning as a flat cap. The only way to trap one is to taunt it with a smashed bag of pie and peas upwind from one of its watering holes. (You can also capture their young with a kebab.)

In fact, Burnley is so northern that even your average southerner can’t help but become a token one in the nanosecond it takes to pronounce the town’s name properly.

Burnley and the surrounding area has been equally ridiculed, despised and patronised by all and sundry for quite a while – some of it warranted and some of it not. But Burnley and the Dingle enclaves don’t really get too many chances to amend their ways – granted, there’s Shameless that allows the middle classes access to northern council estate life without them having to get smacked around in one (don’t forget that Paul Abbott, original writer of Shameless, is a born and bred Burnley lad).

The last time I thought we might have had a decent chance of showing the rest of the UK that we weren’t a bunch of unpleasant, half-witted racist thugs was when the BBC came to televise the FA Cup clash between Burnley and Blackburn at Turf Moor. But, in true Shameless fashion, some idiot managed to run on the pitch and punch a policewoman. Granted, she couldn’t have come from Burnley as she would’ve punched him back.

But, we had shown the nation that they could now add women beaters to the list.

Now if anybody had told me, you or the lollipop lady that Burnley would be a trip to Wembley away from hitting the Premier League big time with their tiny squad and limited resources you’d brand them a fool. And if anybody suggested they’d do it with a certain flair and panache having missed out during previous cup runs seeing off the likes of Fulham, Chelsea, Arsenal and almost Tottenham to reach the Carling Cup final, and finally stumbling in the fifth round of the FA Cup you’d suggest they were the village idiot – which means they were probably from round Burnley way.

Not only have they done it against all expectations, they’ve played the type of football that has pundits and neutrals all over the country gushing with praise and genuinely wanting Burnley to win at Wembley on Monday.

It’s been a fair old turnaround.

I’ve still yet to get bored watching those two goals against Reading:

But you’ll also find plenty of people suddenly looking at Burnley and the area in a slightly different light – especially should they make it to the Premiership. All of a sudden this town that was an original founding member of the football league ceases to be a media laughing stock (should it ever appear in it) but spoken of with a footballing reverence in both the way its football team plays the game and its history. Burnley is not seen as some fancy franchise with overpaid nonces in a soulless stadium forcing supporters to fritter away their hard-earned, but as a romantic throwback to less cynical days.

Burnley is what is commonly referred to as a ‘proper club’. You see, Burnley, Pendle and the rest of the area has been in a credit crunch for nigh on ten years; and pots to piss in disappeared long before that. But that didn’t stop ‘em painting the town hall clock claret and blue:

Burnley’s Claret & Blue Town Hall Clock

But, before this turns into a Python-esque ramble about living in shoeboxes, I’d just like to wish everybody who’s going all the best to have a smashing day out seeming there’ll be nigh on 36,000 making the trip from all four corners of the globe – alas, I shan’t be one of them, but I know both Matt and John have tickets.

I also know the tight buggers are taking their own butties as they refuse to pay six quid for a Wembley commemorative pie.

And that, my friends, is the north summed up in a pie crust.

Simple Fuel Arm Loading Bracket

Anyway, if you particularly like the sound of free in relation to stainless steel bus and rolling stock fabrication and research therein, you can send off for the following CD-ROM by Euro Inox:

Under the acronym INSAPTRANS, a research report about the use of stainless steel in the design and fabrication of buses and rolling stock is also available now on CD-ROM.

Contents:

1. Introduction: stainless steels in transport vehicles
1.1 Rail applications history
1.2 Current rail applications
1.3 Bus and coach applications
1.4 Future potential

2. Materials
2.1 Grades
2.2 Delivery
2.3 Mechanical behaviour and design values
2.3.1 Tensile properties of the project materials
2.3.2 Design values and physical properties of stainless
2.4 Corrosion properties
2.4.1 Atmospheric corrosion
2.4.2 De-icing and dust-control chemicals
2.4.3 Corrosion resistance evaluation
2.4.4 Corrosion test results
2.4.5 Corrosion test summary
2.5 Stainless steel high-temperature mechanical properties: fire resistance
2.6 Selection of materials
2.6.1 Structural applications
2.6.2 Forming applications
2.6.3 Summary

3. Lightweight structures and design
3.1. Stainless hollow-section structures
3.1.1. Manufacture of hollow sections
3.1.2. Structural design aspects for hollow-section joints
3.2. Sandwich panel structures
3.2.1 Design principles of sandwich panels
3.2.2 Panel cross-section
3.2.3 Elastic response
3.2.4 Strength and deflection criteria
3.2.5 Structural optimisation
3.2.6 Design tools
3.2.7 Special issues in all-steel sandwich panel design

4. Manufacturing issues in lightweight structures
4.1 Bending of high strength stainless steel sheets
4.1.1 Verification of minimum sheet bending radius
4.1.2 Determination of sheet springback behaviour
4.1.3 Guidelines for bending ultra high-strength stainless steel
4.2 Tube bending
4.2.1 Types of mechanical tube-bending processes
4.2.2 Springback model
4.2.3 Rectangular tube-bending results
4.2.4 Design guidance for three-roll tube bending
4.3 Welding and joining
4.3.1 Arc-based welding processes
4.3.2 Laser-based welding processes
4.3.3 Resistance welding
4.3.4 Adhesive bonding

5. Properties of lightweight structures
5.1. Welded joint properties
5.1.1 Static strength
5.1.2 Fatigue and corrosion fatigue strength
5.2 Sandwich panel mechanical properties
5.2.1 Four-point bend testing of full-size panels
5.2.2 Three-point bend testing of panel sections
5.2.3 Summary and conclusions
5.3 Lightweight structure crash properties
5.3.1 Axial impact tests
5.3.2 Side impact tests
5.3.3 Tubular frame crash tests
5.3.4 Panel compression and crash testing

6. Life cycle issues
6.1. Effect of vehicle weight on life cycle cost
6.2. Environmental effects of bus-frame materials
6.3. Life cycle cost evaluation of bus-frame materials
6.4. Summary

In addition to the research report, the CD-ROM contains numerous papers with additional background information given at six regional seminars. These presentations are in English and some of them in French, German, Italian, Polish and Spanish.

INSAPTRANS is a joint initiative of stainless steel producers, research institutions and Euro Inox. It was made possible through support from the Research Fund for Coals and Steel of the European Union.

If you do not have the report yet and would like to receive a free copy of the CD-ROM, please return an e-mail to info@euro-inox.org referring to the INSAPTRANS CD-ROM. Please do not forget to indicate your address detail.

Oh and don’t be asking where you can get a copy of the CD or whether we can send you one. Just note the email in bold above and drop those guys a line with the information also in bold.

I thank you.

So, if you can keep your thoughts to yourself and resist the urge to comment I won’t have to go checking my Webmail, will I?

Apparently, it’s getting upgraded to a brand new Dell 2950 consisting of:

- Dual Quad-Core Xeon CPUs
- 8Gb RAM
- 6x146Gb 15K SCSI drives in RAID 5
- PHP 5 / MySQL 5

I’m also in the process of upgrading /redesigning our whole site and ideally wanted to get that done for next week’s trip up to New York as I’m speaking at Search Engine Strategies again.

Same crap, different venue.

Have a lovely weekend, won’t you.

Anyway, as I sauntered into the store the manager asked the now customary question referring to my origins. He hadn’t said hello before he mentioned Flight 93 – y’know the one that exploded over Lockerbie. Apparently, he should’ve been on that flight, but his mother hadn’t got the tickets to him in time.

How odd. I’ve no idea whether it was the guy’s near death experience or a minus 17 gust of arctic air from not closing the door that sent a shiver down my spine; but I still didn’t buy an antenna.

As if I’m going up on the roof in this weather – I’ll wind up doing a Rod Hull.

Considering we’re on the subject of bizarre things linked to television, how would you pitch Butler Sheetmetal to TV types embarking on a spot of research to see whether you might be willing to appear in some new reality show being flushed down the pipeline about recently fired bankers having to get their hands dirty at a proper place of work?

A muck vs. brass corporate wife swap during times of class war.

Thankfully, we have this blog to flesh the bones of an otherwise skinny little outfit.

While I don’t write about everybody in equal measure, there are those at Butler Sheetmetal HQ who lend themselves more easily to blog ridicule than others.

Senior Butler brother, Matt, only gets mentioned in passing, whereas as the more junior John gets mentioned quite a bit. But even John is overshadowed by Jock bundle of joy Jasper. The BBC could do far worse than waste license payer’s money on reincarnating the ghost of Pvt Frazer.

The blurred boys and girl at Butler Sheetmetal: Phil, Deborah, Jasper, John and Matt.

So, if you just so happen to be researching to see what kind of characters you might be dealing with just click on any of the following names: Matt, John, Jasper, Deborah or Phil and see what this blogs turns up.

We’ve even got a new lad called Simeon (pronounced Simon, not Gideon), but I’ve no idea whether he’s got a face more suited the radio.

Anyway, if it does transpire – some banker kick-starting a new career up our place – I hope they don’t think it’s going to be a cushy office job.

It seems like any response seems wholly inappropriate. For example, if you acknowledge there’s a squeeze going on but then follow up with how it isn’t affecting you and you’re bucking the trend, you’re a bit of an arse. Or, if you’re carrying on like you’re Prince circa 1999, you’re a bit more of an arse. And then if you race around like a financial Chicken Little, you’re an arse that’s on fire.

Now I received this email earlier today that falls into a category all of its own:

To say that 2008 didn’t come without its challenges would be an understatement. To say the New Year won’t bring new ones would be an overstatement. We’ve been there. We understand. ThomasNet.com is part of a larger organization that has survived, among other things, two World Wars and one major Depression. Experience has taught us how to navigate rocky roads and how to help businesses like yours do the same. This time is no exception.

To that end, we’d like to pass along some tips that can impact your bottom line as you consider and develop the upcoming year’s strategies:

• Evaluate your current suppliers to secure a healthy supply chain that will keep your operations moving

• Find out if your parts or products can be sourced locally to minimize shipping costs

• Keep up with new product releases to remain competitive and inspire new ideas

• Consult white papers to research new processes and technologies

• Grow your business without expanding your sales force

Now I’m sure Thomas.net are being well meaning here but maybe they could’ve added a bit more gravitas by invoking the spirit of Churchill as opposed to an England football chant. Still, as if I know what it’s like to steer a steady ship in choppy waters. I’d barely started my tea-time paper round when the Falklands kicked-off.

I’ll accept this is shaping up to be fairly swift and merciless, and there’s many a sheet metal fabrication or engineering shop shut down or dead round our neck of the woods. But the chaps were telling me over Christmas they’ve never known a busier potential January. It’s always been a quiet month, so they simply can’t work out where the upsurge has come from. In fact, straight after the credit crunch crunched, everything ground to an immediate halt – they were even looking at having a full two weeks shut down over Christmas and New Year. But that didn’t even transpire.

Maybe it’s a case of companies having held off for a couple of months and we’re only seeing what we would’ve seen in October. Maybe the pond’s a little smaller and people are having to look for new suppliers. Although I doubt it’s got much to do with tumbling steel costs.

Still, an unseasonably busy January a full 2009 does not make, so maybe it is time to batten down the hatches, dig in and roll those sleeves up.

Thomas.net, while a bit austere, could be right on the money.

Library Photo of average Nigerian scammer

I’ll let Deborah, who performs sterling secretarial and accounting services from Butler Sheetmetal HQ, take over the telling of one particular instance of such an intervention from a few weeks back. She sent me the following email about some nefarious Nigerian:

Well, it all started yesterday morning when I arrived to start my duties in the meter cupboard.  Matt asked me to ring [name removed so as to protect the innocent] to take payment for an urgent job. I read the original email enquiry and it had scam written all over it, but Matt had promised we’d ring back.  So, I rang Michael who told me the normal procedure for making payment was for me to give him our bank details. I told him he’d have to pay by credit card and he said he would have to apply for one! In the meantime I had to go through all the rigmarole of getting a price from TNT to deliver to Lagos to be able to do a proper quote. TNT quoted £1323.00 to deliver to Lagos Airport, but they weren’t prepared to take it from the airport to its final destination. Twas a lot of messing about.  Any road up, I think we’ve shaken him off now. Suppose there’s an outside chance he could have been genuine, but my gut instinct says not.

Anyway, back to deal with more fools and time wasters respected potential customers.

You’ve got to feel a bit sorry for some of our African cousins in some respects. Especially those round Nigeria, Ghana or the Ivory Coast whose major export appears to be the scam. Let’s be fair, your average Nigerian has a worse scam rep than the notorious 19th century confidence trickster, Soapy Smith.

Bad lad Soapy Smith

So let that be a lesson to anybody thinking of pulling a fast one.

Then again, things are a bit quiet by all accounts, so we could do with the work!

Because I’m as dimwitted as the rest of you, my first thoughts on learning that space had some sort of aroma led me to dismissing the concept out of hand. We all know there’s no air for starters and that anyone daft enough to open their helmet for a sly whiff would wind up covering the inside of it with their own explosive grey matter within thirty seconds.

Then again, I suppose it helps if you read an article rather than draw mindless conclusions from just the headline. If we dig a little deeper we find:

“We have a few clues as to what space smells like. First of all, there were interviews with astronauts that we were given, when they had been outside and then returned to the space station and were de-suiting and taking off their helmets, they all reported quite particular odours. For them, what comes across is a smell of fried steak, hot metal and even welding a motorbike.”

Apparently the perfume scientist quoted above is from Manchester and has been approached by NASA to reproduce the same space odour so that astronauts can train their nostrils for the peculiar pong.

And this is what the International Space Station’s Science Officer Don Pettit had to say about the smell after a spell up yonder in 2003:

“Each time, when I repressed the airlock, opened the hatch and welcomed two tired workers inside, a peculiar odor tickled my olfactory senses. At first I couldn’t quite place it. It must have come from the air ducts that re-pressed the compartment. Then I noticed that this smell was on their suit, helmet, gloves, and tools. It was more pronounced on fabrics than on metal or plastic surfaces. It is hard to describe this smell; it is definitely not the olfactory equivalent to describing the palette sensations of some new food as ‘tastes like chicken.’ The best description I can come up with is metallic; a rather pleasant sweet metallic sensation.”

So, the smell we’re looking at is something akin to hot metal, fried steak, and welding a motorbike. How bizarre.

But, help could very well be at hand. Just follow me here, NASA, as I think we may be able to come to some kind of arrangement.

This is similar to the aroma that wafts from Jasper on any average Friday afternoon after the weekly chippy run and he’s got a bit of steak pie stuck in his whiskers. If he happens to do a spot of welding at the same time….BLAMMO – there’s your space scent right there.

Although, if he’s been on the cooking sherry the night before having watched Braveheart, he smells more like a tramp dipped in trifle.

Either way, just give us a bell, and we’ll give your pong police full access at our going rate.