Well the last time I remember some fancy dan golf day sponsored by Butler Sheetmetal - well, it wasn’t really a golf day so much as John and Matt dragging me off up our local municipal course, Marsden Park, to hank, shank and slice with gay abandon. Ten quid for the round and a jumbo Mars Bar, which had obviously softened somewhat by the time I got round to needing its nougaty nourishment around the tenth, was the full extent of their corporate hospitality.

Things must be going ’slightly better’ these days as they can afford to take a full Monday off to go swanning around some course in Harrogate with eight clients. So yes, if you didn’t get invited - like me (not that I would’ve gone - although I could’ve had a round over here on my own) - I suggest you kick up a bit of a stink by giving them a bell on 01282 870033 or leaving an irate comment below.

But, with any luck they may have stiffened up a bit (in the bad way) and be feeling the odd back twinge - a bit like this fella who’d been sub-contracted to do a spot of welding at Castle Cement in Clitheroe. As the Lancashire Evening Telegraph points out:

A WORKER had to be rescued after getting trapped in a pipe at a factory when he suffered back pain.

The 27-year-old, who was working as a contractor for Castle Cement at its site in West Bradford Road, Clitheroe, became stranded after his back “went” while welding.

Chris Fish, Castle’s safety officer, said the welder was working in a duct in a piece of machinery called a “scrubber tower”, which is used to make plaster.

He said: “The lad told me earlier that he had a twinge in his back and then when he was working in it just went.

“The duct is only just over a metre high and he could hardly move.”

Fire crews used an aerial ladder platform to free the worker at 2.15pm.

I bet he’d been sprauncing around at some golf day a couple of days earlier as well.

Let’s hope the medical cabinet at BSM HQ has an abundance of fiery jack.