When I were a lad student protest had slightly more knackers to it than spouting a few conspiracy theories at a failed Presidential candidate and squealing like a girl when the filth got a bit heavy handed.

I doubt if you’re going to have to quell too many uprisings with a rallying cry of “Don’t Tase Me, Bro”. I’ve no idea what the Chinese is for “Don’t run over me with those tanks, bro,” but I’m fairly sure it didn’t pass by The Unknown Rebel’s lips during that day in 1989.

Trying telling me that this:

isn’t a far cooler protest than this:

Anyway, I got round to thinking about possible metal taser vests in case people wanted to engage in civil conspiratorial debate without the fear of looking faintly ridiculous in the process. Something that would cause the taser barbs to make a slight tinging noise and drop harmlessly to the floor whilst showing you off to have a well defined set of pecs could be a certain winner. Then I remembered you could probably get yourself the top half of a suit of armor instead.

However, I did manage to come across something truly useful in the metal vest category – the vest pocket ashtray

With the onset of the smoking ban, what better than your own personalised stainless steel ashtray to put in your breast jacket pocket. I honestly can’t see it failing.

Unless you happen to be wearing a t-shirt.

Not to be confused with: