All of a sudden we’re down to a skeleton staff and believe me, I don’t count as staff, nor as much of a skeleton for that matter. Everybody’s either at the hospital or just come out of hospital. John’s picked up yet another finger injury and has disappeared to Airedale to get a metal splinter removed from underneath his fingernail. I told him to run it off, but he’s having none of it. It’s all a bit touch and go as to whether he’ll play ever again.
Mind you don’t pick up a knock!
Now if John and his fingers weren’t enough of a worry, we’ve also lost Jasper for a month as he’s just had a double hernia operation. The poor old incomprehensible Scotsman was scheduled to have the surgery done a while back, but there were slight complications.
The slight complications came in the form of the Butcher of Burnley General who was to be his surgeon for the day. Jasper had gone into hospital and was robed, shaved and had two arrows, one brown and one black, indelibly markered on his thighs pointing at his nether regions. He’d had his final prod from one of the doctors just to make sure everything was ready to go (there was mention of something being smaller than the doctor expected it to be, but Jasper just claimed that there was an icy draft blowing up his gown) and then the door burst open.
In flew Dr. Crippen, splattered in blood, having just come straight down from the theatre where he claimed his current operation ‘wasn’t going too well’ due to ‘unforeseen complications’. Don’t ask me why he saw fit to break off from saving the other guy’s life to tell Jasper he’d have to go home, but he did. Maybe he just popped out for a smoke, or needed to tell the nurses not to give him a pre-med – I don’t know.
All I do know is that Jasper looked at Slasher Harris with a stare not too dissimilar to that of a dog about to be put down and, in a tone rather like off
“We’re all doomed. Doomed I tell ye!”
With that, Doctor Death scuttled off to resuscitate his patient only to be barged out of the way by Jasper…… gown-tails flapping thus exposing his fuzzy buttocks.
And with that mental image, I’ll wish Jasper a speedy recovery and to the rest of you – Don’t Have Nightmares.
