You Are What You Eat.

You might think it slightly odd that I’m about to share with you the ultimate in organic rusting solutions, but you’ll like it and lump it.

The most worrying thing about this little ‘formula’ is that it’s something you’ll happily shove down your gullet on a regular basis – so beware.

Whilst doing our latest planter job we had to find some way to rust the little blighters. It sounds fairly easy and it most definitely is, but we had to get them done quickly – and I mean toute suite.

I scoured the internet for expedited rusting techniques and came across a curious tincture involving all manner of chemical pleasantries such as concentrated nitric acid and copper sulphate etc.

Strangely enough, chemists no longer stock this kind of gumph, so I had to get my o-level chemistry thinking cap on. We also had a little chat amongst ourselves regarding old school welder’s paste as it contained zinc chloride and had a tendency to rot metal rather sharpish.

Finally, in the interests of cheapness and general safety, I decided that if I tried a solution of vinegar, salt, water and coke(potassium chloride – try it to clean an old penny) something should happen. We gave the test piece a shotblasting in order to ensure that it was clean from grease and had a decent enough ‘key’ for the solution to bite into.

It set to work immediately, and within 24 hours it’d completely rusted. Once we’d given it a lacquering, it looked like this:

Check our rusted gel burner out at Tinpot Alley.

And here’s what the planters currently look like mid-rust before they’re due a lacquering.

Just remember though that if you’re a bit of a fan of salt and vinegar on your chips washed down with a drop of coke what it might be doing to your inner workings.

Especially if you’re Barry Sheen(RIP).